Fixation
by Alex Foster
Summary: If only he were smarter, Ron Stoppable could figure out why he had so much trouble sleeping at night...


Title: Fixation

Author: Alex Foster

Feedback: I love to hear what you think so drop me a line or leave a review.

Category: Ron/Kim

Rating: PG

Summary: If only he were smarter, Ron Stoppable could figure out why he had so much trouble sleeping at night.

Disclaimer: Disney owns all. I just play.

Author's Notes: Probably wildly out of character, but I don't care because I had fun. And isn't that what FF is all about, people? Enjoy.

* * *

_People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar._

Thich Nhat Hanh

* * *

If he were smarter, Ron Stoppable could figure out why he has trouble sleeping at night. Why night after night he is haunted by the same person. The dreams are always different, but she remains the same. When the dreams are hazy and lost by morning, he still knows she was there. His years with her had permanently imprinted the scent, sight, and feel that was Kim Possible on his mind.

_

* * *

_

_Ron saw her standing at the top of a tall bluff. Everything around him was in such sharp vivid color it is almost painful to the eyes. High green grass lined a worn trail leaning up to her. It might have been Ireland; he was there once and this place kind of looked like that. He could be wrong though because that time he was busy dodging exploding golf balls to take in much of the scenery._

_Either way, he couldn't take his eyes off of Kim. Her back was to him as she looked out to whatever lay beyond the bluff. She wore a white sundress that fluttered in the breeze. Overwhelmed, Ron suddenly wanted to be up there with her. He wanted to touch her._

_He started running up the path, calling to her. But when he reached her, she turned to sand and left him alone._

* * *

Most of the time the dreams are simple to understand. He replays missions and switches a couple of things around so that it was he that gave the witty comeback, left Shego speechless, and saved the day. Other times, though, the dreams are wild and layered and leave him wondering for days. 

Once he woke filled with such worry for her safety that he was dressed and halfway to her house to save her before he realized it had been a dream. As he stood in the middle of the street at three in the morning, Ron begun to understand he had a problem.

* * *

_Another worn trail. Night was setting in and Ron could barely see several steps ahead of him. Kim was somewhere unseen, calling to him. Panic threatened to choke him; Kim needed him and he couldn't find her. He was her partner and should always be at her side. His foot hit a loose stone in the steep grade and he stumbled to all fours._

_Suddenly he saw Kim up ahead. In her hand she held a light for him. Flooded with relief, Ron started after her. With her light to show the way, Ron made quick work of the path. But she was moving, too. No matter how fast he ran, Ron always remained just at the edge of the sphere of light. Chasing her._

* * *

After that dream he is always touchy and snippy about being second banana to her. Kim doesn't know why and he can't explain it because he doesn't fully understand it himself. Years together have taught her to leave him to work it out on his own. 

Ron has no idea why he dreams about a girl he spends most of his waking hours with. It's as though his subconscious knows something that he does not. That if he could only find that one elusive thing, the dreams would stop and he could have the first peaceful night sleep since kindergarten.

_

* * *

_

_Ron and Kim were playing in a pond located just south of nowhere. It was summer and the air simmered with heat, but the water was cool and welcoming. The two friends were alone in the world, lost in the simple childlike pleasure of splashing each other._

_Swimming back to shore while Kim continued to do laps behind him, Ron noticed for the first time the name written on a sign by the banks._

_Wannaweep._

"_Kim, we have to get out now!"_

_The water was no longer clear and welcoming. Filthy sludge now floated along the surface and a pungent stench burned his nose. Ron reached the shore and looked back, expecting to see that Kim had followed him. But she hadn't. She was gone._

_Crying out, Ron ran back into the water and dived below the water. Swimming harder than he had ever before, he found her in the center of the lake tangled in seaweed. The water had changed her, Ron could now see. She had gills and did not struggle against the weeds that held her._

_Ron pulled her free and discovered that he had changed as well. Cool water filled his lungs and he did not drown. He touched her face with his fingertips and both knew things would never be the same again. Kim looked sadly up to the surface and then back to him and he understood. He had escaped but returned just for her._

_They were now trapped below the water together._

* * *

Ron could never tell Kim of his dreams. It would weird her out to the highest degree. And he knew she would pull away from him and he would be left with only the dreams of her...and that would be far worse. So he keeps silent and struggles with what he sees and feels every night. 

Sometimes he wakes in the middle of the night in a tangle of sheets, her scent fading from his mind, and the imagined shape of her still lingering against his skin. Shame threatens to burn him alive after those dreams, whether he remembers all the sinful details or not. Kim was Kim and he shouldn't think of her that way.

His subconscious, however, seems to have a different opinion. After the moodualator incident, his mind has new information: it knows her taste.

* * *

_Kim. All around him, commanding every sense. Her bright green eyes are what he saw first. After that it is her red hair framing her head like a natural pillow. Her skin pale with freckles that travel down her bare shoulders._

_There was blackness around them. They were nowhere and Ron didn't care._

_What he hadn't already seen, his mind could easily fill in with a boyhood spent studying the body human in the school library. He teased her lips with his, letting his tongue explore and taste her._

_He lost himself in the feel of her moving beneath him..._

* * *

After those dreams, Ron has a hard time looking at Kim without blushing. He would never really touch her like that. For all his talk, he wouldn't touch anyone like that. He asked Monique about recurring dreams once, but she dismissed him by saying everyone dreamed. 

Ron heard somewhere that only a small number of people could remember all their dreams. He wondered what made him so lucky. And how many dreamed with such consistency?

It was beyond obsession and into something he couldn't even fathom. He didn't want to be obsessed with Kim; it spoke of something he couldn't admit about her.

Over the years, Ron has learned to appreciate small favors allotted to him. He never dreamed during his naps at school – he'd never live it down if he had one of _those_ dreams while there – or while out on a mission. It was as though there was something inside of him that was at peace when she was asleep in the plane seat beside him or while at the desk behind him. That too spoke of something he couldn't admit.

During the day he would forget and play around, but at night while she was far away and dreaming about Mankey or Brick his subconscious would intervene and make her his.

If only he were smarter, Ron Stoppable could figure out why he had so much trouble sleeping at night.

**End**


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